Hmm, it's been a while since I've made time to write. Honestly, I've just been avoiding it. Knowing what I want to spill, but kind of afraid to do so.
Chris and I are trying to join a church. We know we want to join, it's kind of just me that's holding us back. In order to become a member of our church they require that you be baptized by immersion. Chris grew up Baptist, so he was, but I was not. I've been baptized, but not immersed. At the first mention of this, I found that it stirred up a lot of anger and resentment inside of me. Now, perhaps this is left over bitterness towards the church that I thought had died and was buried, maybe I need to swallow my pride and submit, maybe I should stop being so stubborn with my questions and always wanting to know how and why and this and that.
It would be easier if the pastor who accepts my baptism was an unstudied, small town pastor (nothing against small towns...but they kind of have that reputation) who waivers with my trust. But he's not. He's a smart (Ph.D. in theology), not only smart- a wise, Godly man, who loves Jesus and has devoted his life to interpreting, studying and preaching the Gospel. I trust him.
And I trust my pastor now. I trust everything my church is doing and how they're doing it.
I think what makes me insecure is not at all about my baptism. It's about how I can trust two Godly men with two opposite views. And I don't know what to believe. I mean, isn't theology man-made anyway?
I don't understand and I'm trying.
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2 comments:
hey heidi,
with amanda just getting started with school i didn't know if she would get a chance to respond to you, so i wanted to make sure you got an answer.
with some friends we've started a ministry we are calling Reformers Anonymous. we are working with a church (Afrika Community Church) off of 75 and NW HWY/Loop12 in dallas. right now we are just doing ESL classes but are trying to build it out into a fullblown nonprofit.
are you working with the same group that ben and josh work with?
hey girl. i was in the same boat as you with the baptism thing. i was baptized as a baby by "sprinkling" and my father was FURIOUS when i brought up the fact that i had to be submersed for my membership to be complete...
anyways. if you wanna talk sometime, lemme know.
also i'd like to see you. you are a beauty and i love you. :)
denisie power.
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